Countdown to the Cesarean

Squirrel is a breech baby and we are having a Cesarean on Friday. This is not what we planned ~ see already the little nipper is having it his or her own way!

I've found this really hard to come to terms with and still have the odd outpouring of tears. There's so much to read about it all out there, both scary and reassuring, yet when you're actually in the hospital being told your options it all seems so clinical and quick and you're in shock more than anything so making decisions there and then is a hard thing to do.

I read lots of stuff about how to make baby turn, indeed I was already doing quite a lot of them. One friend said baby won't turn unless you want it to turn, but I don't agree. I really did want Squirrel to turn and asked kindly too, but I don't think there was any room left at 38 weeks or desire to ~ he or she much prefers sitting upright looking out through the belly button window I think!

At the end of the day though we understand that making sure Squirrel enters the world safely is our top priority and it doesn't really matter how we get him or her here. It probably knows best too and doesn't want to put me through the pain of childbirth, especially with a history of difficulties in my family. I think I was concentrating more on the birth beforehand anyway and now am focussed on the time afterwards!

My gorgeous friend that I still haven't thought of a suitable pretend name for yet came around and helped me get organised sorting out all the different bags of baby clothes I'd been given and arranging the space for baby practically - it made such a huge difference in such a short space of time and everyone that's visited since has noticed how fresh the energy is and clear the areas. Friends like that are invaluable. They just know, they come over and DO stuff. (Picture of the book shelf we removed books from to make a space for baby things, with a changing area too).

Tomorrow is our last day before baby Squirrel arrives, so we are going to spend it together, talking about everything, doing very little, perhaps a nice long lie in, breakfast in bed, a trip to the cinema or theatre or a museum. That's what I'm hoping for, I'm sure though that Jam will want to continue doing all the things that need finishing around the boat ~ I'm trying to persuade him otherwise, saying Squirrel won't notice if the back steps are finished or not, but I do understand that he doesn't want to be doing it further down the line. It's very stressful for him right now and he is worrying about everything. I know though that once baby arrives, our hearts will melt and we will not want to do anything else but gaze adoringly at this little miracle we've created.

Only two more sleeps!!